I was preparing to get married about 5 years ago and it was an amazing feeling. I dreamt of my wedding day constantly. No lie. Dreams. They really ramped up the closer we got to our big day as the plans Jeannie and I had been making for some time were now falling into place.

The music portion of our wedding experience was obviously an extremely important part of the day to me. I found myself putting together playlists for our families to enjoy when the flew into Kauai. I took those playlists and whittled the hundred plus songs I felt represented us well and made CDs (12 songs total) for our guests because almost most of them were not on Spotify or Apple Music to download the songs. What a pain that was and yet it was a labor of love.

I soon realized that almost no one seemed to care about the CDs enough to listen to them once, if at all. I’ve checked in with them over the years and most of that music has been lost to their closets or junk drawers. That was a bit of a let down to put so much of who I was into my own wedding for the benefit of others and to know they did not seem to care.

Of course, I took it the wrong way back then. Jeannie and I loved music that WE liked and that played some important part of OUR lives. Each guest, though, had their own taste in music. 

I soon came upon two revelations that I want to share with you now:

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. 
  • Know your audience and yourself.

The latter lesson can help you choose the best possible music for your wedding. 


When looking to create your wedding playlist, keep these thoughts in mind:

  1. Are you creating the music to represent who you are or to accommodate your guests?
    1. If it is for you, then build your music based on what both you and your fiancé have been into over the course of each of your lives. It may be hard to narrow it down to specific songs (I work with my clients on this during our planning meetings), nonetheless, you need to find the songs that take you to a special place in your mind.
    2. If you are accommodating your guests, think of the songs that connect you to the people that are coming to the wedding. This way you’ll be able to look at them when that special song comes on for a sly wink and nod. Avoid the songs that you listened to all by yourself as people will more than likely not connect with that music.
    3. If you are creating the list based on a mixture of both, then understand that people dance to songs they know. Cocktail is the time to appease them with songs you may not love as you will more than likely be taking pictures somewhere else (if you are going to your cocktail, then treat cocktail like dinner). Dinner is where you can play songs that you truly love which most people are not familiar with as the songs will be in the background of their conversations. Pepper in familiar songs to keep their feet tapping.
  2. Build a simple playlist of songs you like and work towards your special songs.
    1. Add songs to a playlist (such as on Spotify) based on a thumbs up or down method. Do you like it or not. Love is not in the equation just yet.
    2. Once you have those songs you like, move the ones you love into a separate playlist.
    3. Take the songs you love to pick you key songs such as cake cutting, introductions, and first dance.

I hope this simple music selection helps you. If you are looking to make something different, then reach out to me for some personal touches that will make your wedding music amazing!

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